Blood Moon Page 2

  “I’m not in a position to accept the title. Have you forgotten about my defect?” I protest. So far this conversation isn’t going as I’d hoped. “Besides, as second born, shouldn’t Gage inherit that right?”

  “Gage is a Tracker. The label fits him. As far as birthrights go, should the alpha die without any heirs born at the time of his or her death, the title befalls to the next dominant member in the bloodline. This, of course, is if the alpha was not defeated by a more dominant source and instead died in battle or tragically passes away by some other means.”

  “True, but technically I’m a man-eater, even if I’ve never taken a human life. This should be considered as an automatic disqualification. In my opinion, at least.”

  Marquis’ lips pull up slightly into what I can only describe as a sad smile, humble even. “It may be, but we’re hopeful.”

  Simone’s hand seeks mine, her fingers squeezing my own as she gazes at me. “If we do find a way to help minimize the bloodlust, then it wouldn’t be an issue.”

  I had a feeling they were aiming for this. “I already told everyone I’m not forcing Marjorie to do anything she’s not comfortable with. Besides, how are we even sure this so-called solution will help? What if it ends up being another false hope?” I reign in my anger. I don’t want to lose it again. Not when Marquis just asked me to be more orderly and respectful toward him as my elder brother and alpha of the pack.

  “I understand your point of view, Kyran, but we don't even know what her decision will be. As long as she doesn’t refuse, we can’t give up.”

  I eye Marquis with suspicion. “This isn’t a request. It’s an order. Is this how my wishes are valued?”

  “What I wanted your opinion on, rather, is on the ceremony taking place tonight before our departure.”

  I turn to Simone for clarification as to what Marquis is getting at but she merely smiles. I shift my attention back to Marquis. “Whatever you decide to do is fine by me. You’re our leader. If you want to form a comradery with Bray, who am I to object.”

  “Tell me the truth, Kyran. Do you think it unwise to consider it?”

  “You have done more than just consider it. Haven’t you? Didn’t you agree to it already?” Under the circumstances, I understand why my older brother made the decision to accept Bray’s request to form a comradery. Should something happen to Marquis, perhaps Bray would be the best alpha to lead us. In spite of what Josephine and Marquis think, I can’t be an alpha. My imprudent personality could get in the way of making right choices and could lead to our downfall.

  “Yes, but I’d like to hear what you have to say about it.”

  This scene comes across as one of those trick questions. “If Bray turns out to be the wolf we all believe him to be, then I don’t think there’s anyone better to lead us than him, should you be absent.”

  A smile plays at Marquis’s lips. “Already thinking like a leader. Making wise choices is part of the process of reasoning like an alpha. Don’t you ever forget that, Kyran.”

  I’m a little confused. What just happened here? “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  Marquis’ countenance turns serious once more. “I believe Dario and Esteban are back so we should head on to the kitchen to enjoy a nice, quiet meal before we go over what they found.”

  “Where did the dynamic duo go?” Strange, since I didn’t notice at what point they left or returned.

  “To the locations where the beta said were hideouts for the Gandillon pack.”

  Though Dario and I have a long way to go in terms of a stable, non-hostile relationship, I’m glad he has decided to stick around and help. It allows us support, even if we have yet to actually get some sleep.

  “I’m looking forward to hearing what they have to say.” I push myself to my feet. Instantly dizziness and hunger swamps me. It’s acute, but at the worst possible time. I push it aside, grappling with the realization that I can’t give in to my weakness with Marjorie in the house, but aware I can’t control what’s to come.

  “Kyran, are you all right?” Simone is the first to her feet, setting her hand on my shoulder as I struggle to break away from the haze.

  “I’m fine,” I lie, pulling away. I push down the thirst for blood and bring Marjorie’s face to mind. It helps, but only to a certain extent.

  “Is it...?”

  “No. I’m fine.” I meet my sister-in-law’s gaze with more determination than I feel. “I think we should go eat.” I walk out of the office, not waiting for either of them to add anything, and come across Alexis who’s just coming down the stairs after helping Marjorie.

  Marquis and Simone exit the office and continue to the kitchen without us.

  “Alpha in the making, huh? Now I’m really jealous,” he teases, a smile spreading across his face. “Wouldn’t want you as my leader though, that’s for damn sure.”

  I stand up straight, trying very hard not to show any sign of weakness. “I don’t particularly care for having to share my living space with you either but that’s not something I get to choose.”

  He strides right up to me and slaps my left shoulder. “I love that dry sense of humor of yours, Kyran. What would we do without it?”

  Breathing through my nose, I take a moment to calm the raging fire in my stomach. It grows every second but I’m holding it in check as best as I can. “How’s Marjorie?” I ask to keep him talking. I need a distraction.

  “A little overwhelmed, but otherwise okay. I think anyway. She’s not saying much, though I think her mind is working overtime.”

  “Did you hound her to stay?” I eye him with skepticism. Though I didn’t overhear what they spoke about, I imagine he tried something.

  “Maybe.” He shifts uncomfortably. “I didn’t hound her. I...we only talked.”

  “You make for a horrible liar when nervous, Alexis.” I glance at him, a smile twisting my lips up as I note the look of guilt on his face.

  “I hate that you can read me so easily.”

  A laugh threatens to escape , but the tortuous twisting in my stomach kills it instantly. Pain engulfs me. I double over, heaving as my inners contract. I clutch my belly in a desperate attempt to stop the hunger from spreading but I realize as I go down on my knees the more I try to stop the bloodlust, the more it tears through me as if it has a mind of its own. That’s probably why no one fights back. A force like this is too strong to fend off.

  Blood drips down my nose—a sign I’ve pushed myself too far, but I can’t stop now. I tamper with the fire burning inside of me, trying to put it off longer, but to no avail. It’s rising with a speed I have never known before. I crumble to the floor, writhing in pain. My entire body ceases to function or follow any command.

  “Kyran.” Alexis helps to lay me flat on my back on the floor before kneeling beside me. His gray eyes widening as he takes in the sight of my contracting muscles.

  Marquis, Josephine, Dario and Simone rush out of the kitchen as soon as they hear the distress in Alexis’s voice and form a semi-circle around us to keep the worst of my throes from Marjorie’s prying eyes. Alexis then holds me down by the shoulders to prevent me from lashing out. I’m on fire, or at least I feel like I am. I’m burning from top to bottom and all I want is for the pain to stop.

  “Kyran!” Marjorie’s voice full of panic captures my attention. I glance to my left briefly and see her at the top of the stairs, her face white as snow. Gage has her by the arm, preventing her from getting any closer. “Something’s wrong with him,” she pleads with my brother.

  Gage, make her go away. She’s too close. I send the message telepathically hoping that he can hear me even in my weakened state.

  “Kyran, don’t fight it off,” Marquis insists.

  “He has to.” Alexis turns his gaze to Marquis. “We’re not alone.”

  Simone looks up the stairs at Gage. “Please, just take her away.”

  “What’s happening to him? Is he having a relapse?” The concern I hear in her voice cuts me deep. I
would have given anything for her not to see me battling something so gruesome. Bathing in a cold sweat, my muscles bulging with veins popping out and blood running down my face is an image she’s not bound to forget.

  I’m keenly aware of Marjorie struggling to break free moments before Gage picks her up and carries her to Josephine’s bedroom, but then my whole world goes black and I realize I’m slipping into unconsciousness once again.

  ***

  “Kyran? Are you awake?”

  My eyes pop open at the sound of Marquis’ voice.

  “How long have I been out?” My skull feels like it’s trying to break free, but I’m otherwise better.

  “Less than five minutes. Your reactions are improving.”

  “Why do you think that?” I sit up, regretting it almost immediately. I’m instantly assailed by a wave of dizziness once I’m upright.

  “They last less every time and you wake up faster than before.”

  “If Bray is right, you might be getting better,” Simone adds.

  “Where’s Marjorie?” My mind is focused on her. I don’t know how much she saw or what she thinks now that she has seen one of my episodes.

  “She’s still upstairs,” Simone responds.

  “I’m sure she’s going to want to have a talk with you, Kyran.” Marquis sits down on the couch to my left. “A lot has happened in the past weeks, Kyran. I advise against hiding your sins further. As your intended mate, she’s bound to understand you better than anyone. After all, she already knows there are things you can’t control.”

  I sigh, resting my chin on my chest. “How do I confess what I’ve done during the throes of a bloodlust fueled rage? I’ll sound like the beast I really am.”

  “You’re not a beast. Don’t refer to yourself as such. You’re strong of mind in spite of the curse which longs to consume you,” Simone encourages as she takes a seat to my right.

  “Besides, if the event of your mating comes to pass, don’t you think it will be best for you to be honest with her and come clean beforehand rather than have her find out during the blood exchange?”

  “No,” I mutter. If I had my way there would be things I’d never reveal at all. “She will come to know everything. I only need to find the right time to tell her.”

  Marquis lays a supporting hand on my shoulder. “She may already know.”

  “Did you...?” I look at Marquis in horror, but he’s already shaking his head.

  “Gage.”

  I bury my face in my hands. “Why?”

  “Maybe because he senses how hard this is on you. Perhaps coming from him, she will understand it better. I don’t know his reasons, but don’t be mad at Gage. He’s only trying to help.”

  Honestly, I’m neither mad nor disappointed my brother took it upon himself to tell Marjorie something so personal. Relief best describes my feelings, but I’m terrified to come face to face with Marjorie now that she knows. I can’t get into her head. I can’t pluck the information of what she thinks of me, so anticipation builds up.

  “Face her and talk.” Simone stands. “As your mate-to-be, she will want to clear the air between you two. I know I would.”

  Marquis follows her example and picks himself up, too. “Don’t hold back if she decides to ask, Kyran.”

  “I hope it doesn’t, but if she wants me to open up I’ll go as far as I’m comfortable with.” The details of the full bloodlust events have haunted me countless times. I don’t want them to ruin her like it has done mine. I, and I alone, should have to carry this burden.

  “We’ll leave you two alone,” Simone says as she turns to the door. I don’t have to look up to know who’s just arrived.

  My heart sinks as I sense Marjorie’s presence. She knows. Everything. Though I’m relieved that she has been told, I’m left wondering what goes on in her complicated mind.

  “Kyran?” And then her voice reminds me, she has been supportive thus far and she might still feel the same way.

  Chapter Three

  Simone and Marquis walk out, affording us with some privacy, though I refuse to look up at Marjorie. I’m afraid of what I’ll be able to read in her eyes.

  “Kyran?”

  “I’m fine,” I try to reassure her, but I’m positive my posture says the opposite. Elbows resting on my knees, I work circles into the side of my face with the tips of my fingers. My headache hasn’t subsided as much as I wish it would by now.

  She scurries to where I am, her fingers seizing my chin. She forces me to look up at her and I oblige. I can’t avoid her forever nor would it be wise to. I drop my hands to the side, sitting up straight as I gaze into her hazel eyes. I’m holding myself stiff, waiting in fear of what I’ll see on her face. Things I’m not proud of have surfaced and she knows how deeply my pain is. How, forced to suffer in silence, I’ve had to resort to unimaginable acts in order to cope with the pain.

  “How do you feel?” Her question takes me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting this to be the first thing out of her mouth.

  Taking a couple of tissues from a box sitting on the side table, she uses them to clean blood smeared around my nostrils and upper lip.

  “My skull feels as if it’s trying to break free of my skin.” I can’t look away. Her face reveals nothing but concern which confuses me.

  “Why didn’t you tell me, Kyran?” She tosses the soiled tissue paper in the trash and reaches for a couple more. “Why are you always trying to hide so much of you?”

  “Is that what I’m doing?” I say though we both know I have been all along. I didn’t want her to know, but my will has always taken a back seat to her needs.

  “You know you are.” She continues cleaning off the rest of the blood on my face with the same dedication, except she seems a bit more frustrated. “I don’t want to be left out anymore.” She finishes wiping my face clean and tosses the tissue paper in the trash bin before taking a seat next to me.

  I look away from her, embarrassed. She’s right. Had I been able to have my way, I would have never told her how I practically tore myself open with my claws to focus my pain elsewhere.

  “Now you know more than you signed up for.”

  “I get that that’s not an image you wanted me to have of you, but after everything we’ve been through...does it really matter if I know not only about this, but the rest too?”

  It matters because she doesn’t know how dark these details get, but she doesn’t have to know it all. “I guess it really doesn’t anymore.”

  She doesn’t say anything for a moment, but I can feel her eyes quietly assessing me. I know what she’s looking for but there’s nothing for her to find. Because I’m a werewolf, I don’t scar. There’s no evidence left.

  “I truly get it now.”

  “Finally.” I gaze at her a moment, trying to brave it out. Alexis has a right to accuse me of being unconfident. My insecurities are many and they cut deep. I don’t want her to be haunted by my past like my family. Even though they block out the memories as much as possible, I know it affects them. “It’s all out there in the open. You know what I’ve done. What I’m responsible for. There’s nothing else I’m hiding. Now you know I’m less than perfect.”

  “I already knew that,” she says, glancing away.

  I make an attempt at smiling. “I guess you did. I wasn’t exactly subtle.”

  “No. Not all,” she meets my gaze once more, “Now we can move on past all of this.”

  “Move past this?” I’m a little shocked. This isn’t the reaction I expected from her. She seems to be coping with it all quite well, better than I expected.

  “Well, I mean...I don’t have to wonder anymore. I know everything there is to know. It’s not like I have to speculate or make up crazy scenarios in my head that don’t even make sense.”

  “My life would qualify as an abnormality.” Even among my own kind. I’ve always been the weird one. The wolf with no self-control. I always felt like an experiment gone berserk. Other wolves found my case inte
resting yet tragic. No one understands why I can’t seem to have a control over my bloodlust when others do. No one can come up with an explanation either.

  “It’s one thing to do something while you’re fully aware of doing it. It’s an entirely different thing to go through something when you can’t control your impulses.”

  “Are you excusing my behavior?” I’m curious as to what she really thinks. I wish I could read her mind to find out, but she hasn’t developed that skill yet.

  “No. I’m not. I’m just calling it as it is.”

  “That’s an interesting way of putting things.” I make myself comfortable on the couch, relaxing my muscles to get rid of the tension eating away at me. My gaze turns away from her instinctively.

  “You’ve said it many times before, Kyran. It’s not glamorous, but it’s your life. You’ve dealt with your ups and downs the only way you knew how. I only wish you’d had enough confidence to talk to me about it. I’m tired of being filled in by others.”

  My head cocks to the side so I can have a better view of her beautiful face. “Would knowing it sooner make it any less...depressing?”

  She ogles me with curiosity. “No.”

  An awkward silence fills the room. I’m sure her head is spinning with thoughts of her recent discoveries. From her real identity to her mother’s well-guarded secret, to the darkness I’ve grown with...it must be a lot to take in.

  “I can help make it better...I want to.”

  I glance around the room in obvious discomfort. “No. You’ve already made your decision. I don’t want what happened to influence it.”

  “It hasn’t. My decision hasn’t changed. I’m just...I don’t want to leave you like this.”

  I grit my teeth to keep from venting my anger when it’s not really directed at her in the first place. “This is why I didn’t want you to know.” I move to stand, but she reaches for my arm, putting a stop to my hasty exit.